Peg,
I believe the fresh water tank drain is located the same place as it is on our 3100, which is under the passenger side bed. To access it, lift the mattress up and remove the square wood panel located near the head of the bed. You will probably need a flat-blade screwdriver to lift up the wood panel. Then, if you look down in the hole you will see a water shutoff valve that you turn one-quarter turn to drain the tank. Be prepared to wait, as Phoenix had filled our tank full when we picked it up and it doesn't drain very fast. You didn't ask, but to drain the water heater, you need to open the panel on the outside of the RV and remove the hex plug at the bottom of the tank. It easiest if you use a socket and an extension to remove it. Then, open the pressure release valve located near the top of the tank and the water will drain quickly.
When you flush the holding tanks, just connect your hose to the hose fitting located in the compartment that has the tank drain controls on the driver's side of the unit. There are two silver valves located near the hose fitting, one for the black tank and one for the gray tank. You open one at a time if you want the most pressure or both if you want lesser pressure for the cleaning process. When you do this, some people have the tank drain valves open during the entire process and others leave them closed for a few minutes and then open them to get a better flow of water out of the tanks. I usually leave them closed until the tank has been flushed for 5 to 7 minutes and then open the drain. I don't wait any longer because as you indicated, you don't want to over fill the tank.
If you have any more questions, feel free to ask if my instructions aren't clear.
Gary