Blending the tanks, installing extra valves, helps, but doesn’t correct the problem. The problem is, the grey tank is still too small. A grey tank should be at least the size of the fresh water tank, or you will have problems. The only real solution in my mind is to reverse those existing tanks. Not simple, not cheap, but the marine industry has been successfully pumping waste water for decades. It appears some RV builders are going this direction. Smaller RV's with dedicated bathrooms have always based their floor plans around having to place a cheap plastic toilet directly above the black tank, the plop method. This creates a situation that not only impacts bathrooms and tank sizes, it limits weight distribution possibilities, and entire floor plan layouts. As they say, never time to do it right the first time, but there is always time to do it again. Good Luck.
Doug