We sure could use better building inspectors here in the mid-west, making sure the building codes are well practiced with regards to insulation done properly. Then adding the windows and door systems that leak badly after just a few years is terrible. Our son's house was built around the same time as our house but it is terribly drafty.
We built our house just over 30 years ago in 1988. I designed it (I was the architect) and was on-site daily making sure things were done right. I cleaned up the work site and structure on the weekends. I first braced, then used expandable foam around all windows and doors. I used duct tape to seal the foil-backed exterior sheathing before the Tyvec covered everything, followed by brick. I touched up the insulation in all tight areas including the corners. I did my best in making sure things were done right without spending a fortune, and it paid off.
I selected Andersen casement windows of which to this day are still performing like new. We have two fireplaces, two kitchen hood vents to the outside, three bathroom vents to the outside, the dryer vent, and one shop vent to the outside. All are dampened. The furnace is the same generic high efficiency installed in 1988 as is the original hot water heater that vents outside with no damper. I also have an outside vent direct into the furnace room that is free-flowing, a requirement for a chimney-less furnace. The house is so tight that I leave the two fireplace flues open all year round for fresh air.
Our first house from 1978-1988 was less than 1/3 the volume of air but heating and cooling it costed more, even though we invested in wall and attic insulation and a furnace damper. So much can be done with just a little extra care and attention to detail, along with good quality windows and doors. But to be clear, it all starts with good windows and doors, and their installation. If they stink, the rest of the effort won't be much noticed.
In recent years, I switched all lighting to LED except for the 32-4' florescent tubes in my work shop. I feel there isn't much more we can do other than lower the thermostat in winter and raise it more in the summer, and also lower the heat in the garage. But we want to live comfortably. I'll never replace the furnace, hot water heater, or air conditioner due to age alone. They were high efficiency for their time which will do until they no longer work. It seems new ones are either made in China, or critical parts are made in China, so I am in no hurry to deal with "quality" problems.