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Topics - NHWanderlust

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Around the Campfire / The Enlisted Marine
« on: February 02, 2015, 10:39:03 am »
U.S.Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.

While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure"?

A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.

A Captain said it was 50%-50%.

A Lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion?

Without any hesitation, the young Lance Corporal responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure".

The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?

"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

The room fell silent.

God Bless the enlisted man.

Around the Campfire / Children say the funniest things
« on: January 29, 2015, 11:51:46 am »
An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grandpa, what is couple sex?"

The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer.

Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement.

Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"

The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs."

Around the Campfire / Fred
« on: January 28, 2015, 11:26:50 am »
An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.
'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.
The officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'
The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older,
I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was
Fred Johnson, MD.
After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School,
got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she
gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out
about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.
Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'

Around the Campfire / Ole Olson, the Norwegian Salesman from Minnesota
« on: January 28, 2015, 10:31:00 am »
Ole, the smoothest-talking Norske in the Minnesota National Guard and a natural born salesman, got called up to active duty.

  Ole's first assignment was in a military induction center. Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI life insurance, to which they were entitled.

 The officer in charge soon noticed that Ole was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance. This was remarkable, because it cost these low-income recruits $30 per month for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge. The officer decided he'd sit in the back of the room at the next briefing and observe Ole's sales pitch.

 Ole stood up before the latest group of inductees and said,"If you haf da normal GI insurans an' yoo go to Afghanistan an' get yourself killed, da governmen' pays yer beneficiary $20,000. If yoo take out da supplemental insurans, vich cost you only t'irty dollars a mont , den da governmen' got ta pay yer beneficiary $200,000! Now, Ole concluded, Vich bunch you tink dey gonna send ta Afghanistan first?"

Around the Campfire / Missing wife
« on: January 22, 2015, 01:05:01 pm »
A husband went to the police station to report his missing wife:
Husband : I've lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home.
Sergeant : What is her height ?
Husband : Oh, 5 something, maybe 5'5
Sergeant : Build?
Husband : Not slim, not really fat, but could lose a few.

Sergeant : Color of eyes?
Husband : Dark. Not sure - maybe Brown.
Sergeant : Color of hair?
Husband : Changes according to season -  lightest brown now
Sergeant : What was she wearing?
Husband : I don't remember exactly but she wears jeans a lot.
Sergeant : Did she go in a car?
Husband : yes.
Sergeant : What kind of car was it?
Husband : 2015 Corvette Stingray 3LT with the Z51 Performance Package, shark gray metallic paint,  with the 6.2 liter V8 engine with Direct Injection generating 460 HP. 8-speed paddle-shift automatic transmission, and Black leather GT bucket seats, and has a very thin scratch on the front left door near the....... at this point the husband started crying...
                      Sergeant : Don't worry sir.......We'll find your car.   

Around the Campfire / Fisherman
« on: January 03, 2015, 12:56:11 pm »
An RVer named Stan was stopped by a game warden as he was returning to his Winnebago with a bucket full of still-alive bass. "Do you have a license?" the game warden asked. The man replied, "No, sir. These are my pet fish." "Pet fish?" the warden asked. "Yes, sir. Every night I take them down to the lake and let them swim around for awhile. When they hear my whistle, they jump right back into the bucket and I take them back to the RV." "That's a bunch of baloney," the game warden said, to which the man responded "if you don't believe me, then follow me back to the lake to see for yourself." Still suspicious, but curious, the game warden agreed. And so they walked to the lake. There, the man let the fish out into the water, where they disappeared. "Okay," said the game warden. "Call them back." "Call who back?" "The fish," replied the warden. "What fish?" asked the man.

Around the Campfire / In memory of Billy
« on: January 03, 2015, 11:27:25 am »
A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle." Stunned, the young man says, "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
"I don't like her," she says.

General Discussion / Decisions Decisions
« on: March 04, 2014, 05:29:59 pm »
I find it interesting that the difference in price between a 3100 and a 2552 is minuscule. Comparably equipped with the options I wanted it was about $400. The difference seemed to be a little more money for full body paint on the larger 3100. Shows you just how popular that 2552 has become. What I am also wrestling with and could use the groups help in my search and education is the cost difference between the PC and a few of the smaller Class As like the THOR ACE 29.2. If what I see for negotiated pricing in the RV forums is correct they can be had for about 70 to 75 thousand. A pretty huge savings from the PC. We visited a ACE at the dealers the other day and were impressed with the layout. Not so impressed with the single pane windows and thin walls. Good insulation is important to me for sound and heat living here in the great white north. Especially this year! -4 this morning at my house. So any thoughts you would like to share. Our education and search will go on for a while yet. Planning a visit to Hersey this fall to actually get in some of these and see how they feel. We are on the 14 month plan.

General Discussion / Show schedule
« on: December 29, 2013, 08:15:43 am »
Where can I find a schedule of RV shows? Especially the ones PC will be at. Getting closer!

General Discussion / Fireproof safe
« on: December 20, 2012, 02:57:54 pm »
Has anyone installed a fireproof safe in your PC? Something small that could be hidden and used to store valuables like cash and passports. If so where and what did you use?

Around the Campfire / The high cost of healthcare
« on: November 09, 2012, 03:59:16 pm »
Kevin had shingles.

Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?

Here's what happened to Kevin:

Kevin walked into a doctor's office, and the receptionist asked him what he had.  Kevin said: "Shingles."  So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later, a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had.  Kevin said, "Shingles."  So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history, and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later, a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had.  Kevin said, "Shingles."  So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later, the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.

Kevin said, "Shingles."


The doctor asked, "Where?"

Kevin said, "Outside on the truck.  Where do you want me to unload 'em??"

Around the Campfire / Irish Wedding
« on: March 12, 2012, 03:15:04 pm »
At the Irish wedding reception the DJ yelled:

"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

General Discussion / RV show schedule
« on: January 27, 2012, 02:25:58 pm »
Is there a web site that will tell you which RV trade shows PC will be at? I have looked on the PC web site and couldnt find anything other then whats going on at Ft. Myers.

Around the Campfire / B&M Baked Beans, for Billy
« on: January 14, 2012, 12:15:31 pm »
Do you know why a can of B&M Baked Beans contains 239 beans?

Because if you added one more they would be "two farty".

General Discussion / 6 way power seat
« on: October 20, 2011, 01:50:06 pm »
Is the 6 way power seat worth it? I'm the only one that is going to drive this pleasure dome so I question the need of a 6 way power seat? I would defiantly get a passenger seat that swivels but should the drivers seat also?

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