Cruisers Forum
Main Forum => Around the Campfire => Topic started by: billy on December 05, 2012, 08:05:24 pm
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Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the
economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of
50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs
and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered
for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents
& Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always
prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to
the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you
can handle.
Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and
oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the
Tunnel has been turned off.
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Sounds like a plan. :lol
The government should have bailed out every working citzen over 50 instead of the banking industry by handing them each a million tax free dollars to retire early to open up the job market. It would have cost tax payers the same but get better results.
Adding: The government could have done it in installments, like an expanded Social Security benefit. Instead they pushed Social Security out further yet. I am 54 years old and have to work til age 66.75 to get my full benefit, instead of age 65 as it has been since the beginning.
I would run for president except that I would surely get assasinated if elected. roflol
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OH RON, that would have been way to simple.
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:-D :-D :-D
good one